The Setup: Last weekend while standing in line for a Black History Exhibit, I observed a group of seemingly overbearing and chatty mothers with their doleful looking children. All the children were extremely well groomed. The younger children were tightly held and immediately scolded when they spoke or moved. The older children moved listlessly as herded cattle.
The Question: Where are the fathers?
I know the easy and popular answers are…. Black men aren’t responsible or Black men are in jail or die at a young age. The deeper issue is that most of these age 21 - 45 year old Black men that we villainize were also raised in fatherless homes.
Men and women are naturally intended to think and behave differently. Children tend to think and behave like their parents. When there is only one parent, the child develops an incomplete outlook on life. Obviously, men are most effected by not having a dominant male role in the house to emulate and look toward men who are respected in their community to emulate i.e. the drug dealer, the rapper, or the movie character.
So what are we left with? Two generations of overly sensitive, outrageously materialistic, metrosexual, psuedo-thugs.
The other issue: People tend to continue doing what has had a successful outcome and cease doing what doesn’t. In adolescence and adulthood, the flashy womanizer gets all the girls and the book worm gets humiliated. From early childhood males observe which behaviors are rewarded by the opposite sex and which ones are punished. In modern times, women completely control the early stages of a relationship. They choose whom to date and whom to mate.
So what’s more logical… that there aren’t any good Black men because all Black men are irresponsible criminals that end up dead or in jail or that the black men who are irresponsible criminals are attracting more of the ladies and having most of the babies? What do you think?
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on Jul 13th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Neither. A third option being that “good” responsible Black men are bowing out of marriage in favor of playing the numbers game with the M/F ratios and not committing to any one woman and making a life with HER.
on Jul 13th, 2009 at 11:09 am
KT women are in a relationship 50/50. If your mate isn’t on the same page or doesn’t have the same future plans as you, there is some one out there that does. Gotta go, gotta go.
on Jul 14th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
KT you got it EXACTLY right! My experience exactly. The guys that have it together are enjoying the game.
on Jul 14th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Why do you think that is ladies? Assuming that all men aren’t just savage animals looking to lay anything in a skirt. Why would a guy who has it together choose to not be monogamous?
on Jul 29th, 2009 at 7:09 am
“Your Chick Chose Me” is on POINT! So many times woman go for the types of dudes to have fun with but no real future. When you said due to the lack of fathers in the home, young men have become “Two generations of overly sensitive, outrageously materialistic, metrosexual, psuedo-thugs”…..I couldn’t agree more!